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We also have humans, virtually none of whom are even glimpsed, oblivious of the humanity-threatening conflict going on all around them. And we have the Frankenstein monster they’re fighting over, renamed “Adam,” trying to avoid both parties and just find his place in the world and his reason for being. You can at least be sure, given the setup, that the very kind of reanimation Watch I, FRANKENSTEIN  Online that Dr. Frankenstein dabbled in will enter in in some urgent way. If we only had more interest in Adam Frankenstein. Or anyone or anything else, for that matter. Unfortunately, we have trouble cozying up to I, Frankenstein because the characterization is so shallow and the talk not only cheap and plentiful but stilted and empty. The director seems much more interested in the fiery special effects, which are PG-13 sanitized, flashy, repetitious, and inconsequential. And do they distract us from the realization that this film features what sounds like the worst dialogue ever written? Momentarily, perhaps, but nowhere near enough. Eckhart, Otto, and Nighy are actually better than the material they’re pretty Watch I, FRANKENSTEIN  Online much trapped in, but there are no line readings, no matter how precise or clever, that could bring this script to life. The obvious goal here is to create and launch a franchise for the core audience not unlike the Underworld series, with which this film shares producers, a writer, and a central concept.

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